Daddy's Gone Mad, Hasn't He?

Daddy’s gone mad, hasn’t he? In his twenties, Daddy was so sure about the future. Now in his early thirties, he is looking at buying a home, thinking about where the dog will go, and how the husband will fit into it. His life was great - a good job, excellent friends and family, and a productive routine. But at work, something went wrong.

Around Covid times, everyone quickly learnt the value of working from home. Daddy did too

• but every day, he dreamed of the pandemic ending. It officially did on 5 May 2023. Yet work from home continued. This was fine for most people, but Daddy didn’t like it.

He missed everyone coming into the office. Through his early career, his peers, and seniors shaped him. Sometimes for worse, but mostly for better. Though working from home brought benefits, Daddy worried about the isolation, and the loss of in-person interaction to the younger people. Yes, it was a trite view of work. But he knew something was off.

Before the pandemic ended, Open AI released Chat GPT, and Daddy was impressed. Daddy thought it a useful tool at work. This is much more useful than other fads in tech, such as Bitcoin, he thought. And AI took off. Over the months and years, it improved markedly. At work, they initially said not to use AI, then that you can use it, within limits. Finally, in the present day, they are urging everyone to use it. For as much as you can.

Or you’ll fall behind.

And Daddy didn’t like that.

When he started work as a software engineer, or computer programmer, he loved the thrill of solving problems. Even when on paper, or in a text editor, manipulating symbols to produce the result you want - using just your brain, and the reference material before you. Getting a machine to take those symbols you dreamed up, and act on your behalf, brought a satisfaction that made every day worth waking up for.

But Daddy was not liking AI. In fact, Daddy was feeling he was going mad. Everyone else was embracing it, talking about how much faster they were getting work done. Daddy saw something different. He saw the paradox - if it can do more, won’t that just mean we have to do more? If it can do everything, won’t I do nothing? But Daddy wasn’t allowed to say this at work. It would go against the “innovation” and “growth” mindset.

After work pushed AI more, Daddy was upset. Every programmer in his team had a weekly 15-minute meeting with the “AI guy” at work. The AI guy’s goal was to to get everyone using it optimally. Daddy learnt how to feigh enthusiasm with him, while asking cloaked, skeptical questions about the entire approach. And when the meeting would end, ended, he felt like weeping. Like an craftsman curled up on his workshop floor.

Soon Daddy felt mad. Not angry mad, but crazy. Am I the only one seeing this? Is there something wrong with me? Why can’t I just fall in line, like the others? Daddy woke up each week optimistic he could embrace work again, before finishing each Friday in a spiral. Friends and family heard it through various phone calls. They were great counsel. But he thought about what he had told them. What was coming out. Something is wrong, he thought.

And at last, Daddy realised, he doesn’t have to fight this. He has choices. If most men live lives of quiet desperation, Daddy doesn’t have to be quiet. He realised that money isn’t everything. It never was. This line of work always paid well. But if he lost it, it would be OK. He would be OK. And if he chose a replacement, this would be even better.

Now Daddy is thinking about what he has actually loves doing. And what would challenge him. And what he could learn to love. He is thinking of what he can do - things that he would not get a second thought a year ago. A trade, a craft, a coffee maker. Work with dignity, and a future. It’s what he wanted a year ago. It’s all he wants now.

And he is finding it scary. As well as a bit boring. Daddy was never good at the admin side of things. But he’ll need to get good at a lot of things, now.

Daddy was asleep before. Now he is awake - and dreaming with eyes open. Has the world gone mad, or have I?, Daddy wonders at 3am. But by 7am, he knows neither are. Whether it’s him or the world, he is working on a mad plan. And feels saner for it. It won’t be easy. But neither will continuing. Yes - Daddy’s gone mad, hasn’t he? And isn’t it wonderful!